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MazorGuide Home > Culture > Humor > Rabbis and Jewish Rituals

Jewish Humor - Laugh a Little
Clergy and Jewish Ritual Jokes
 

Rabbis are usually associated with the more serious side of life.  We count on them for our Sabbath Sermons, for officiating at weddings and for eulogizing our departed.  But rabbis are entrenched in our culture, and thus Jewish Humor did not spare their esteemed profession.  Laugh a little.  It's good for the body, it's good for the soul.

Final Wishes: A Catholic Priest, A Minister, and A Rabbi (Source Unknown)
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are on display in open caskets. 
Priest: I would like someone to say "He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous."
Minister: I would like someone to say "He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners."'
Rabbi: I would want someone to say "OH LOOK! HE'S MOVING!"

Martial Art Accuracy, A Jewish Samurai (Source Unknown)
Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor.  This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so  forth.

A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a  Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces! The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two..." So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around. The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"

 And the Jewish samurai replies, "If you look closely, you'll see that the fly has been circumcised."

Read more about Jewish Humor and get tickled by clicking below.
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 1
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 2
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 3
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Bibliography

Jokes, Jokes, Jokes:  All in Good Spirit!!
  Dating Oys and Veys - Classified Ads
 
Jewish Clergy and Jewish Rituals. Funny anecdotes
  Jewish Mothers, Jewish Guilt, Jewish food
  Of Men and Money. Humorous Tales
  Yinglish at its best!
  Jewish Movies - A Parody

RECOMMENDED READING

The HAUNTED SMILE:  The Story of Jewish Comedians in America
by: Lawrence J. Epstein - From the Marx Brothers and Allen Sherman to Joan Rivers and Jerry Seinfeld.
Big Book of Jewish Humor; William Novak, Moshe Waldoks (Photographer)
101 Classic Jewish Jokes : Jewish Humor from Groucho Marx to Jerry Seinfeld; Robert Menchin, Joe Kohl (Illustrator)
Jewish Humor : What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews; Joseph Telushkin
A Treasury of Jewish Humor; Nathan Ausubel(Editor)
A Treasury of Jewish Folklore : Stories, Traditions, Legends, Humor, Wisdom and Folk Songs of the Jewish People; Nathan Ausubel (Editor)

 

 

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