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Humor > Yinglish at its Best I
Jewish Humor
- Laugh a Little
YINGLISH at its BEST!
JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is
Jewish.
TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from
the Torah at one's Bar Mitzvah.
SANTA-SHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children get for why they
celebrate Hanukah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas.
MATZILATION v. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter
it.
BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never
gave to her own children.
CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4:00a.m. so she can change
the baby's diaper.
DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on
your mother's face but not knowing exactly when.
DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and
strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
GOYFER n. A Gentile messenger.
HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after
one's Bar Mitzvah.
JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense based on talking one's way
out of a tight spot.
MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as good as mother used to make.
MEINSTEIN - slang. "My son, the genius"
MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on
one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.
RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old
neighbors live in the same condo as you.
ROSH HASHANA-NA-NA n. A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.
YIDENTIFY v. To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even
though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.
MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth
person to complete a minyan.
FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli street food.
DIS-KVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school, medical school or business
as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.
IMPASTA n. A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of
Passover.
KINDERSCHLEP v. To transport other kids in your car besides yours.
SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a
vasectomy.
SHOFARSOGUT n. The relief you feel when after many attempts the shofar
is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.
TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds out has pork in it after one
has eaten it.
Read more about Jewish Humor and get
tickled by clicking below.
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Laugh A Little, Jewish
Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 1
•
Laugh A Little, Jewish
Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 2
•
Laugh A Little, Jewish
Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 3
•
Laugh A Little, Jewish
Humor in the Face of Reality - Bibliography
Jokes, Jokes, Jokes: All in Good Spirit!!
•
Dating Oys and Veys -
Classified Ads
•
Jewish Clergy and
Jewish Rituals. Funny anecdotes
•
Jewish Mothers, Jewish
Guilt, Jewish food
•
Of Men and Money.
Humorous Tales
•
Yinglish at its best!
•
Jewish Movies - A
Parody
RECOMMENDED READING
•
The HAUNTED SMILE: The Story of
Jewish Comedians in America
by: Lawrence
J. Epstein - From the Marx Brothers and
Allen Sherman to Joan Rivers and Jerry
Seinfeld.
•
Big Book of Jewish Humor; William
Novak, Moshe Waldoks (Photographer)
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101 Classic Jewish Jokes : Jewish Humor
from Groucho Marx to Jerry Seinfeld;
Robert Menchin, Joe Kohl (Illustrator)
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Jewish Humor : What the Best Jewish
Jokes Say About the Jews; Joseph
Telushkin
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A Treasury of Jewish Humor; Nathan
Ausubel(Editor)
•
A Treasury of Jewish Folklore : Stories,
Traditions, Legends, Humor, Wisdom and
Folk Songs of the Jewish People;
Nathan Ausubel (Editor)
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