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MazorGuide Home > Culture > Humor > Yinglish at its Best I

Jewish Humor - Laugh a Little
YINGLISH at its BEST!

JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.

TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar Mitzvah.

SANTA-SHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hanukah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas.

MATZILATION v. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.

BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.

CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4:00a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.

DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face but not knowing exactly when.

DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.

GOYFER n. A Gentile messenger.

HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar Mitzvah.

JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.

MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as good as mother used to make.

MEINSTEIN - slang. "My son, the genius"   

MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.

RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo as you.

ROSH HASHANA-NA-NA n. A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.

YIDENTIFY v. To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.

MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a minyan.

FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli street food.

DIS-KVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school, medical school or business as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.

IMPASTA n. A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.

KINDERSCHLEP v. To transport other kids in your car besides yours.

SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.

SHOFARSOGUT n. The relief you feel when after many attempts the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.

TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds out has pork in it after one has eaten it.

Read more about Jewish Humor and get tickled by clicking below.
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 1
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 2
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Part 3
  Laugh A Little, Jewish Humor in the Face of Reality - Bibliography

Jokes, Jokes, Jokes:  All in Good Spirit!!
  Dating Oys and Veys - Classified Ads
 
Jewish Clergy and Jewish Rituals. Funny anecdotes
  Jewish Mothers, Jewish Guilt, Jewish food
  Of Men and Money. Humorous Tales
  Yinglish at its best!
  Jewish Movies - A Parody

RECOMMENDED READING

The HAUNTED SMILE:  The Story of Jewish Comedians in America
by: Lawrence J. Epstein - From the Marx Brothers and Allen Sherman to Joan Rivers and Jerry Seinfeld.
Big Book of Jewish Humor; William Novak, Moshe Waldoks (Photographer)
101 Classic Jewish Jokes : Jewish Humor from Groucho Marx to Jerry Seinfeld; Robert Menchin, Joe Kohl (Illustrator)
Jewish Humor : What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews; Joseph Telushkin
A Treasury of Jewish Humor; Nathan Ausubel(Editor)
A Treasury of Jewish Folklore : Stories, Traditions, Legends, Humor, Wisdom and Folk Songs of the Jewish People; Nathan Ausubel (Editor)

 

 

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